What do you think of when you read this word?
For me it has various meanings… being committed to a partner or your family, committed to a cause of vocation or committed to an institution, mostly relating to mental health issues.
I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently in the ‘committed to a relationship’ sense and the fact that I’m starting to realize I’m not very good at commitment. When I meet a guy I like, I like to get to know him before making a commitment and once I think I’ve made the commitment, eventually, when the honeymoon period wears off, I start to wonder if I’ve made the right choice, done the right thing.
But just a few days ago I had a realization that shocked me. I’m not even that committed to myself. I realized that a lot of the time I will make plans then a friend will come along with other suggestions and rather than stand my ground and say what I want to do, I find myself taking the easy route and agreeing with what they suggest. It’s not always a simple case of ‘anything for an easy life’ – I am fairly easy going and mostly I end up enjoying what I do but lately I have been thinking ‘hold on, why am I always giving up on the things I want to accommodate everyone else?’ Crazy, right?
And it’s not just plans with friends, I do it to myself – sabotaging my healthy eating or exercise plans by not committing to what I want, deciding to have takeaway because I don’t have time to cook, or I’m too tired to go to the shops. It’s the easy route again – not valuing myself enough to make the changes I know I need to make.
So what’s the solution. Well, for me it’s a pretty simple thing – every morning I wake up (and sometimes throughout the day) I remind myself that I have entered into a committed relationship with myself and I remind myself what that means to me.
- To be kind to myself
- To value my own opinion
- To not people please just for an easy life
- To do the things I want to do, even if other people don’t necessarily agree with what I want to do (sometimes this means I end up doing things on my own – that’s okay too)
- To make sure I have healthy food on hand at home and at work, and if I decide to eat away from my Primal plan I do so mindfully, not just because it’s easier or because everyone else is having certain things.
- To always build movement into my day (I have a desk job so this is crucial)
- To keep reminding myself that I matter
Most importantly of all is to keep reminding myself that I love myself (another novel concept and maybe a story for another day).
I love myself. How often do you tell yourself that? How committed do you feel to yourself and the life you live? Do you put everyone else before you and feel like you’ve lost yourself a little (or a lot) along the way.
Try saying ‘I love myself’ right now. How did that feel? Now tell yourself that you are in a committed relationship with yourself. How does that feel?
I hope you do love yourself. If you’re not quite there yet, keep working on it and if you are struggling do message me – I feel like I’m making progress so I completely know where you’re coming from if it’s feeling hard right now.
Once I completely love me and my life and feel committed to myself and my lifestyle, then I’ll be ready to think about committing to a relationship. I look forward to this day.